SPEAR IN MY CHEST
Hi! My name is Alex and, yes, I know that it’s been a minute since Chloe wrote to y’all but well, she…she will tell you when she comes on, hopefully after I’m done telling you my story but as of right now, make like Ariana Grande and Focus on me andlet’s get into it. So, if you can’t tell, I am a dead man. Yes, yes I am a dead man and the English say that dead men tell no tales but, if for some reason this story got to you, then I guess dead men do tell tales and this is how the spear in my chest killed me.
“Good news, Alex, the spear can be removed without any damage to your internal organs,” the doctor told me after examining my recent accident with a spear that went right through me. “The procedure to remove the spear will be painful and the recovery process even more painful but at least you will be better.” She continued. Quite frankly, I don’t know how I survived this long with a spear in my chest but I guess there is always a first time for everything. But yo, the thought of having a painful procedure to remove it and an even more painful recovery process scared the wits out of me, God knows I wasn’t that brave.
“Can I think about this?” I muttered in fear. The doctor was utterly shocked at my response but even if it was you, would you have really gone through more pain yet you are already in excruciating pain? Anyways the doctor let me be and I kept the spear in my chest for a while to think things through.
When I tell you that I wish I had taken that spear out when I still had the chance, you best believe that I was speaking the truth, but with all the pity and friends that the spear garnered me…I just couldn’t. It was a conversation starter wherever I went, people wanted to know how I could survive a spear that was literally going through me, and people complimented me for having a spear through my chest-hell-some men wanted to be me! The spear was like my second personality; an extension of me, if you will. But 15 seconds of fame was all it was because eventually, the spear became an inconvenience; the wounds around the spear started to rot and they smelt horrible (no kidding), it started to occupy a lot of space around me that people didn’t want to be near me anymore. The one thing that drew people to me started to push them further and further away from me and I was soon all alone, why?-because I refused to let go of the very thing that caused me so much pain.
I don’t know if it was the loneliness that eventually followed me or the fact that I was breathing my last breath that I realized that I should have taken the spear out while I still had the time because at least I would have been okay…but I was toocowardly to choose something good for myself. Despite the very many warnings from concerned friends and family and my doctor, I just couldn’t let it go and now all I have is this sob story and Chloe to write it. I bid you adieu.
Thank you very much Allen-sorry-Alex, I will take it from here. Now make like Guacamole and dip! Without further ado, in hindsight, much like that spear, some of us have carried around depression and other mental health conditions in our chests, it hurts-yes-but we’d rather garner pity from people and sympathy for our mental health conditions than let them go. We have even developed a personality from having these conditions. There is even a friend that I know that used their depression to keep their best friend from leaving and threatened to commit suicide if said friend left but that is a story for another day. In this mental health awareness month, I suggest that if you have some deep-seated issues weighing on you, talk to someone- not to garner sympathy but to recover. Sure the recovery process is painful, but take it from me who is recovering from depression that you will come out the other end a much better person.
With that, I thank you for coming to my ted talk and reiterate that if you ever need help contact us at www.imentalug.com, we can help.
About the Author
Nsiima Chloe Elizabeth
Is a third year law student at Uganda Christian university. She loves to write, watch movies and find new things.
Fun fact: she was diagnosed with depression in 2021 and embarked on a recovery journey and uses what she learnt from her recovery to help others struggling with mental health.